i say these things because,
i don't say them enough.
to get what i want to say,
off my chest.
i love you.
more everyday.

i did something yesterday,
my school held something for college. where 50 colleges would come to my school and we could walk around and talk to them. i looked at schools that had the program of accounting.. and criminal justice..for you. to make sure the college i was looking at had something we both wanted. i still want to go to college with you. if someone asked me what i was looking for, i would say "accounting and criminal justice." can you believe that? amazing..
4/29/09
i love you.
even after i die.

you know what i was
thinking about today?
you. and more of you.
i was daydreaming
how perfect and happy
i'd be if we just moved
to texas together, lived
on a farm and just to
see your face everyday.
i just could feel the
happiness beaming off
of that very thought.
of you walking out of
our house and looking
up at me on my horse
and having to much love
in your eyes. if was
beautifully sunny out.
and i just saw the sun
glimmer of your gorgeous
smile. and i filled with
happiness and joy.
content. i just imagined
us riding off on our
horses together for a
day of rela*****ion. then
i imagined what if would
be like to meet you in all
these different situations.
like i have many times.
every week. can't wait for
that day to come.
4/29/09
i love you.
until the end of time.

i miss you.
not just the kind of miss when we don't for a period
of time, or only a few conversations here and there.
i miss you.
i miss you as a best friend, i miss knowing you're
tihnking of me everyday like i think of you. i thought
of you today, but that's nothing new. i miss learning
things about you everyday, and i miss the days and
nights when we would spill our hearts out to each
other. when there wasn't a day we didn't hate
going without talking to each other. when we would
daydream about what it would be like to be next to
each other. how it felt to be whole, to be one, with
you. i do miss our long chats and our silly
conversations, but also the conversations filled
with love. i miss being completely happy. i miss you
in the hugest way. i miss everything. this is nothing
new, but i've been missing you more and more lately.
thought i'd spill a little more of my heart out to you today.
4/29/09
i love you.
babe.

oh, did i meantion,
i don't believe in love
forever? i don't believe
two people can love
each other for very
long?
that last time i believed,
was when i was with you.
now, i've just lost all hope,
in love. never thought that
would happen to me, but
i just see all these couples,
and i cant imagine how
they're still together. i
wonder if they still love
each other as much as they
say they do. i wonder how
long they're going to last.
i don't understand how
old couples could love for
so long. i dont think ill fully
understand again until im
with that guy that makes
me believe and proves me
wrong. shows me it's possible.
i hope this feeling doesnt
last forever. i hope i find a
man i can love, i'm finding
im that one letting great guys
go because my feelings for
them have vanished. will
i ever be able to love
someone for longer than a
few months? is something
wrong with me? i feel
heartless.

i dont know why i told you
all that, sigh.
but when i say i love you,
thats different.. that's real
and permanent.

so. i love you darling.
never ending love.

i feel
like sending
you another
message because
i didn't
say enough.
how's your
family? i
miss them.
i can't
wait to
be able
to talk
to them
with you
standing next
to me.
won't that
be wonderful?
just like you<3
i think you are so
handsome, but you
never believe me when
i tell you :p
i miss you .. like a lot.
i like when you're on
facebook, we get to
exchange a few words.
i don't say all this stuff
though. this is a secret.
some nights i wish you
could just wrap your
arms around me, to make
me feel safe and loved,
happy and whole.
you make me feel that
way sometimes. little
things you say can go a
long way.
that rhymed.
when i listen to new songs..
i think of you, and i see
if it discribes our relationship.
see if it shows how much i
love you and how much
you mean to me, and how
i'll always be there for you.
it's true, i always think of you.
not many hold what i'm looking
for, is it because our
relationship is unable to be
put into simple words? maybe.
if i tihnk far enough back, i think
of the better times, when i was
really happy and it was because
i was your girl. your girlfriend.
the one you loved.you're my orange<3
no relationship, can hold
what we had. i believe that.
our bond was strong, and deep
down, it's still not broken. and
never will be.
4/29/09
i love you.
an unbelieveable
amount. <3

hey babe<3
i haven't heard from you very much.
lacking the phone calls & messages.
spring break sucked without you.
my hopes were shattered. again.
why does this keep happening to us.
we deserve better than this,
after all these years i've known you.
10 years from now, we'll still be
bestfriends. i still think we're going to
get married, got something wrong
with that? didn't think so(;
i don't tell you this enough, but
you mean the absolute world to me.
and that i think about you every
day. i daydream about being with
you, in your arms often. someday.
no man means as much to me as
you do, never leave my life my dear.
4/29/09.
i love you.
unconditionally.
with all my heart.

i dont know when you'll read this but thats the point. i want to let you know that i love you. i think about you everyday. i'm going to marry you one day, watch, you'll see i'm right. you're my bestfriend right now. i go to you about everything, i know you wont judge me because you understand me and care about me.
you know me better than i know myself.
4/29/09.
i love you.

duh?:D

more<3